29 March 2006

A Fuzzy Baby

Mike and Jess brought home their "baby" today. Sarge is 8 weeks old and a little furball. He runs like a bear, loves to play with his fleece rope, and is not sure what to make of Sadie and Gunnar (although he keeps trying to chew on their tails!). Here are some photos of the little cutie:





Like A Chicken with My Head Cut Off

My mom used to use the phrase, "I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off."

She knew what that looked like. I was told that my grandfather would purchase like chickens when my mom was young. He'd take them onto the porch and chop off their heads. I guess it took a little while before the body realized that the head was no longer attached and then the chicken died. Gross.

Anyway - I haven't blogged in awhile because I've been so busy with school (one month to go until I graduate!), getting the dogs ready for Japan (vaccinations, vet appointments, paperwork), and other random things (like working at the bookstore). One of the many things I have to do today is meet up with Mike and Jess later. Today is the day that they pick up Sarge - yahoo!! I can't wait to finally meet the little rascal. If you looked on their blog, you've already seen how cute he is, but I'll be sure to take some pictures tonight and post them. We're already planning our first playdate with Sarge, Sadie, and Gunnar (M & J also had a fence recently installed at their house). He's going to be their best friend. I'm excited too because when he gets bigger, he can protect them from invasive and pushy dogs at the dog park.

It's very handy having a rottweiler as your best friend.

25 March 2006

24 March 2006

May Play Day

Bettina and I are hosting this year's IG playdate/fundraiser at Dogwood Park in May. Here's the flyer we hope to be sending out this week. Sadie is on the bottom right of the picture section, running with a tennis ball in her mouth.

22 March 2006

Technical Difficulties

Spring Break has brought on a bunch of problems in the last 48 hours. Here are a few:

1 - My cell phone is completely dead. It doesn't turn on and does not charge. It's dead as a doornail.

2 - Our fridge is on the fritz. It's decided that we prefer our milk lukewarm as opposed to cold.

3 - I spent 30 minutes on Monday typing up a huge blog entry about our trip to Orlando and when I hit the "publish" button, it disappeared. The whole thing was gone. That's why it took me so long to put that entry up. Thanks, Blogger.

4 - Sadie's digestive system is acting up. I think she ate something she shouldn't have while being boarded. I won't go into details, but let's just say that I've had to wash her bedding - twice.

And here's the worst one yet:

5 - In order to describe this last one, I have to give some background info. Back in December, I got off work early and decided to do some Christmas shopping. I hopped in my car, blasted some Christmas music and as I was cruising along, I noticed police light behind me. The cop ticketed me for speeding. Bummer - but that's history now. So, one of the options in Florida when you get a ticket is that you can pay a reduced fine and then elect to attend traffic school (I did an online course), which will erase the points off your record. My completion date for this was coming up at the end of this week, so I completed the course and went to the traffic office to hand in my completion certificate. I also brought along a letter that I had received in the mail on Monday stating that my license was going to be suspended due to not showing up for court regarding two traffic citations. First off, this didn't make any sense, since I only recieved one citation and I chose to pay the fine and go to traffic school, thus declining the court option. After waiting in the ridiculously long line at the traffic office, I explained the situation to the girl behind the desk. The rest of our conversation went something like this:

Me: So, I'm not really sure what this letter is about, since I only received one citation, paid the fine and elected to attend traffic school.
Girl: Well, this says that you have 2 citations: one for speeding and one for not having proof of insurance.
Me: What?! That's not what my citation ( I pull out my copy of the ticket) says - it's just for speeding. And I do have insurance.
Girl: (looks at my copy) This is a different citation. So, you have 3 citations. You need to take care of these other two.
Me: Whoa. Wait. I only recieved one citation and that was for speeding. I've paid for that already. I have no idea what these other 2 are.
Girl: (Prints out a copy of the other 2 citations. She hands them to me.) Is this your signature?
Me: No, my signature looks like this (I show her a copy of the signed check I sent). Yes, that's my name and address info at the top, but these are not mine. These say I have a 2006 Civic, which I don't; mine is a 2005.
Girl: (After studying the 3 citations for a few minutes) Let me go talk with my manager.

After waiting about 20 minutes, she comes back to tell me that the officer who issued my citation didn't clear my information from her computer when she pulled the next person over. So, that person was issued 2 citations with my information on them. I was cleared of these citations (thank you very much). But now, I'm nervous that some stranger has my info - thankfully my SS# wasn't included. Then, I'd have to do something drastic like change my identity.

Ugh, that would be a process......

21 March 2006

Orlando Escape



This past weekend Mike, Jess, Noa and I traveled to Orlando to celebrate Jess' birthday. Although her birthday was technically the weekend before, we had to bump the trip to a different weekend since the three of them were running in the Gate River Run. Last year we also made a trip to Orlando for Jess' birthday and stayed at the Carib Royale. Since we liked it so much last year, we decided to stay there again. However, our first night there was quite different from our experience from last year. At 2:30 am, Mike hears a pounding on the door. Apparently, room service got mixed up on where to deliver some extra towels and decided our door would be the best guess. Then there were the calls back and forth with the front desk explaining the situation (now I'm awake from the phone ringing right next to my ear). Then, Mike has to unplug the ice machine in the hallway sine it was making enough noise to compete with a truck derby. All in all, none of us slept well.
Saturday morning the guys got up early to put in a 15-mile run. The girls decided actually relax during the weekend away (ha ha ha - just teasing Noa and Mike - they are training for a marathon, so they gotta run!) and slept in. After lunch we headed over to Islands of Adventure to brave the crowds and catch some coasters. We parked, paid for the overpriced tickets and made our way to coaster number one: The Hulk. This massive green coaster is impressive: lots of upside-down loops, the track goes under a bridge, and it's coaster in which the passengers are seated the whole time. Knowing this was the most popular ride, we decided to tackle this one first. According to the time board, the wait was about 50 minutes. It was a long wait and hot. I don't really understand why they (the people who designed this ride) would create a winding maze for people to wait in line in FLORIDA and only put fans in the outside part. Once we actually entered the building, it was so stuffy and hot and it's not even the summer yet (just a warning to anyone who goes to IOA in the summer!). Finally, we made it to the last stretch of the line and we notice that they are exiting the people off the ride - who had just been seated. A loud female voice starts to boom overhead: Attention park guests! We are experiencing technical difficulties.... They closed the ride and all of us just stood there. Of course, they won't tell us what is going on, how long the wait might be, or any other important information, so after waiting another 20 minutes, we decide to abort "The Hulk."
Realizing that we only have about 3 1/2 more hours until the park closes and can maybe get in a total of 4 more rides, we decide to try our luck at getting our money back and doing something other that spend the day at IOA. So, with some clever persuasion from Mike and Noa, we got our non-refundable tickets refunded and headed out.
For us, the day was still young, so we headed to a local mini-golf place for some friendly competition and ice cream. We took our time at each hole and took some really funny and goofy pictures along the way. I guess you can say we are all easily amused. Then we went to one of the local outlet malls where we all snagged some goodies (I got some darling Nine West shoes!). After that, it was back to Carib Royale for some hot tubbing, pizza, drinks, and games.
Sunday morning brought some pool time and sunning before we had to check out. The hotel has a beautiful pool area with a huge pool, complete with waterslide, 2 hot tubs, some canvas tents (for those who prefer shade), a bar, and a colorful parrot who hangs out with the guests. The boys decided to play the sweet cards for their waives (Jess and I) and come out with us for an afternoon of shopping. We hit a few stores at the Mall of Millenia and then Petco for some last minute things for Sarge (8 more days until he comes home!!). Overall, it was a great trip. Although the intinerary may not sound very impressive, it was a great time of hanging out together and just enjoying our time away from life in Jacksonville. I, like many, have trouble relaxing at home, since I have so many pressing things on my mind, but to go away, even just for the weekend, I feel a sense of escape from reality and all the responsibilities at home.
I picked up Sadie and Gunnar from the boarding place on Monday. I can tell they had a blast since they spent the entire day sleeping.

What a great way to begin my spring break week. If only every weekend were this much fun!

17 March 2006

Boarding Blues

This weekend Mike, Jess, Noa, and I are headed to Orlando for the weekend to celebrate Jess' birthday. So, we have to have someone care for the dogs. Usually, I have some IG-experienced friends that can take them, but neither are available this weekend. Plan B in a situation like this is to book the dogs at a boarding facility. Thankfully we have several great boarding places in the Jacksonville area.

Yesterday afternoon I called every boarding facilty in the northeast quadrant of the state. ALL were booked!! Panic crept in as I crossed the names off the list and time was running out (I had to go to class). The only other option would be to book the dogs at a facility that outside of the Jacksonville area, such as a place on the way to Orlando. That way, we could drop the dogs off on our trip down there. After getting the OK from the crew, I did just that. The ironic (I think, I never really understand irony, Noa always has to help me figure out if something is just funny or ironic) thing is that while I was placing their reservation at a facility about 2 hours away from here, my phone was beeping with another caller. Since this was during my class break and I was taking long-distance, I ignored the beep. After class I check my messages, only to hear that one of the boarding places was calling me back saying they could fit Sadie and Gunnar in. Ugh....

All is well this morning. I cancelled their reservation at the facility far away and booked them at the local place. Now, I have to gather all their paperwork , food, etc. I get so nervous and worked up when I leave them somewhere. I'm sure it's a familiar feeling that parents get when they leave their kids at school for the first time. I know they'll love it (playtime every 2 hours!!), but it's hard to hand your "babies" over to someone else. I guess it's a vacation for them too. Besides, you know they'll be spoiled once the workers there are charmed by Gunnar's playfulness and Sadie's kisses. I'll probably have to bribe them to come home with me on Monday.

14 March 2006

Animal Crackers


Here are some photos from Sunday's visit to the zoo with Noa's sisters, Amy & Anya, our nephew, Matthew, and Mike & Jess. It was a beautiful and warm day - perfect for the zoo. Some of the days' favorites were the jaguars, leopard, squirrel monkeys, lemurs, and an animal called a capybara (which I later found out is actually the world's largest rodent!!).




I also had the opportunity to go with Mike and Jess to visit a rottie breeder near Gainesville. I went along to be the "outside opinion" who can look at the puppies, dogs, and breeder without the emotional tie to the puppies. Frankly, I was impressed. The puppies were adorable, of course, but I was really interested in the breeder's older dogs, who were just great. The dam, Jane, was super friendly and affectionate, as were her pups. The breeder was very informative and I liked his perspective and attitude toward the breed. So it has been decided that in a couple of weeks, the Apostles will be picking out one of the little furballs to call their own. I'll be anxously awaiting that day and until then, I'm reading up all I can on rotties and puppy care. I gotta be ready since I will, afterall, be the dog's aunt; actually, I'll be the dog's favorite aunt.

12 March 2006

A Go-Go


I feel like I have been going non-stop since Friday. Friday afternoon, my sister-in-law, Amy, her 2 year-old son (my nephew) Matthew, and my other sister-in-law, Anya, came down for a weekend visit. Since then it's been go-go-go. Friday night we went out to dinner at Carrabba's for Mike and Noa to "carb-load" since they were running the Gate River Run the following morning (Jess ran part of it too!). Unfortunately, I couldn't be their #1 cheerleader, since I had my Saturday class...for 6 hours. That evening Mike and Jess came over and we all celebrated Jess' birthday with presents and cake. Today was church, lunch out, and a trip to the Jax zoo. It was a perfect day for the zoo too - 8o degrees and breezy. However, all this celebrating, visiting, and touring is getting to me: I'm exhausted! Thankfully, tonight is simply to relax, hang out, and eat leftover cake. It's been a great weekend, but man, I'm beat.


More pics from the weekend to come. For now - here's our newest Apostle-Hammer pic from Saturday night. Can't you just feel the love??


And just to make it officially on the blog:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESS!!

We love you!

09 March 2006

Kodak Moment

One of the photographers at Sandy Paws has posted his photos. You can see more at: http://www.skipper-systems.com/sandypaws/



From left to right is Louie, Gunnar, Maya, and Sadie. What a good looking bunch of Iglets!

08 March 2006

I've been tagged

A. Four jobs you've had in your life:
1. teacher
2. bookseller
3. cashier
4. camp counselor

B. Four movies you could watch over & over:
1. Clueless
2. 50 First Dates
3. Bruce Almighty
4. Napolean Dynamite

C. Four places you have lived:
1. Jacksonville, FL
2. Melrose, MA
3. Gloucester, MA
4. Merrimack, NH

D. Four tv shows you love to watch:
1. Scrubs
2. Law & Order SVU
3. The Office
4. Cops

E. Four places you've been on vacation:
1. Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
2. Carribean
3. New England
4. California

F. Four websites you visit (almost) daily:
1. IGPost.com
2. lovecharlie.org
3. teamapostle.blogspot.com
4. 45walldesign.com

G. Four of your favorite foods:
1. cheese pizza
2. berries
3. belgium waffle (with the works!)
4. mom's Hungarian goulash

H. Four places you'd rather be right now:
1. in my bed
2. on a cruise
3. the dog park
4. in the ocean (scuba diving)

I. Four of your favorite things to do:
1. play with my dogs/go to dogpark
2. read books/magazine
3. shopping
4. get coffee with a friend

J. Four of your favorite drinks:
1. coffee
2. Coke
3. sweet tea
4. pearl tea

K. Four people who will respond* (this means you're tagged) :
1. Tara
2. Jess (okay, I know she doesn't count - she already did this)
3. the monsters under my bed
4. the Boogeyman

L. Four most important people in your life:
1. Does God count?
2. Noa
3. family
4. my best girlfriends

*Sorry, I didn't answer this one very well. I'm not sure if you have to list people who already have blogs. If so, then Jess took most of my answers already, so that would be redundant. So, I got creative instead.

07 March 2006

Consequences



The first rule in the Hammer household:
ALWAYS keep the bathroom doors closed.

06 March 2006

Puppy Love



Tonight at Bible Study, my friend Lindsey brought her new puppy, Maggie, over. She is a lab/retriever mix and so cute, as you can see. Seeing Maggie makes me excited for Jess' future rotty puppy. If you think I post a lot of dog pictures now, just wait until her boy comes around!

05 March 2006

Sandy Paws Success!


Bettina and I finally made it to Sandy Paws yesterday and had a blast! Jekyl Island (on the coast of S. Georgia) is beautiful. It's a small island that is underdeveloped, so that it only has a handful of hotels and houses on it. The beach is all public property, there are bike trails everywhere, several golf courses including one mini-golf course, a historical district, and there are no fast food joints (we tried to find one and failed!).
"What is Sandy Paws?" you may wonder. Sandy Paws is an annual event sponsored by greyhound adoption advocates and clubs, as well as other groups and vendors, that raises money and awareness for greyhound adoption. Sandy Paws provides opportunities for greyhound owners and volunteers to connect, brainstorm, learn more about the breed, participate in lots of seminars and activites with their dogs, and simply enjoy the Georgia coast with other greyhound enthusiasts. Greyhounds, known primarily as racing dogs, usually have short racing careers and are in need of homes after their racing career ends. These adoption groups provide foster care, health care, socialization opportunities, and find homes for these ex-racers. Adoption groups are non-profit and are usually run by volunteers. Since Italian Greyhounds are a cousin of the greys, we decided to go and show our support for the cause.

We had no idea really on what to expect upon entering the hotel, but I can say for sure that we were not ready for what we encountered. I'd say that there had to be at least a couple hundred greyhounds and their humans, walking the grounds, checking out the vendors, hanging out, etc. They were their in every color, shape, and size. One funny, and often unknown, thing about greyhounds is that they are actually really lazy and they love to just lie down and sleep. In one of the vendor rooms (there were 3), there was this one grey who just plopped down in the middle of the room and decided to sleep. So, you had to watch where you were going or risk stepping on a sleeping ex-racer.
The IGs were definitely in the minority, but we found into others, including a friend of ours, Buster, from the dog park. A lot of the greyhound owners mentioned owning IGs as well. It's an interesting combo because some greys and IGs do very well together and live harmoniously. However, some greys have such a high prey drive, that they cannot live with smaller dogs, such as IGs (especially since they like to run!). There have been instances where greyhounds have injured or killed an IG when their prey drive kicked in - they are awfully strong dogs. However, it seemed like most of the greys at the event were fine with our smaller dogs and many big grey owners mentioned owning both breeds.
Unfortunately, I didn't get many photos from the event, since we were trying to maneuver around the hotel with our dogs in tow. Maya, Bettina's 4 month old IG, was the star of the show and was adored my many. By the end of our visit, she was fast asleep in Bettina's arms. Louie, her big brother did not seem to like the idea of his little sister getting all the attention and was constantly asking me for kisses (he's such a lover!).
We ran into several IG and greyhound friends and the Hammers (Sadie, Gunnar, and I) were happy to meet our friend Trish, from Dog Dayz, who makes awesome collars. She wasn't there as a vendor, but came to meet Ace, her newly adopted grey- straight off the track. She totally caught me off guard because she comes up to me and says, "who are they?" (pointing to Sadie and Gunnar).
I reply, "They are Italian Greyhounds" (usually that's what people want to know).
She says, "No, what are their names?"
Unsure of who this person is, I reply, "Sadie and Gunnar."
Her response: "I'm Trish!"
Me: "Trish! Oh my gosh! Hi!!"
It was like we were long lost relatives or something. Ah, small world.

Being with all those greys definitely made me miss my old grey, Boki. Boki, our small, black greyhound, who was found as a stray, but had the tatoos that identified racing dogs, was not the perfect dog (let's just say my parents had to replace our basement carpeting and couch after Boki was gone). But, he was a sweetheart and a goofball, who loved his life with us. Boki was always well-behaved and was fun to have around. I remember his favorite game to play was hide and seek - we would hide and he would seek. When he would find us, his tail would start wagging like crazy and he'd do a little jump for joy at his fortune. Just like a retriever fetching a ball, that game never got old for Boki.
A greyhound's calm, but pleasant demeanor is greatly underestimated; this breed is so pleasant to be around. They always seem to be at peace with the world, whatever their circumstances were prior to adoption. Some of these dogs came from poor racing conditions, wheras others were treated well. But you'd never know from the peaceful demeanor of a grey. Regardless of background, these dogs accept their new life with such grace and gratitude. We can learn much from these sweet creatures.

How fortunate to have events like these that promote the adoption of such a unique breed. I feel so lucky to have been a part of it.

03 March 2006

Change in Plans


Since two of our friends can't make it and I'm still battling illness, Bettina and I decided to hold off on Sandy Paws until tomorrow. We'll make it a day trip instead. So, I've had another day to rest, catch up on homework, and hang out with Noa.

I'm okay with that.

02 March 2006

The Sunny Side of Sick

I'm still sick. I called into work today in hopes of spending some more quality time with the futon. I'm still not sure if I'll make it to class tonight - we'll see. Last night I felt so achy. I told Noa that it felt like someone came up to me, broke all my bones, and left me for dead. Thankfully, Noa is used to this drama and allowed me to carry on and complain about being "hot, no, cold, no, burning up, no, actually freezing..."

I also found out that our other friend isn't coming to Sandy Paws either this weekend. So, it's just Bettina and I (and the dogs) which will still be great, but I'm bummed that the other two won't be there, since we've been planning this for awhile. I'm running out of time to see my South Florida IG pals and events like this don't come along everyday.

So, in the midst of my illness and disappointed feelings this morning, I had two wonderful phone calls that cheered me up:

The first on was from Whitney, who I work with at the bookstore. She coordinates all the events at the store and enlisted me into doing storytime (which I love!). After realizing she was indeed talking to me on the phone - my "man voice was a little disconcerting - she told me that she had great news: John Grogan, the author of Marley & Me is coming to our store in May!!! Well, thank you, Jesus!! I am so excited! Ever since I read the book last fall, I have been begging her to get him to come to our store, which has become near impossible with the book gaining in popularity every day (in fact, Fox 2000 bought the rights to the story in order to make it into a movie!). For those of you who don't know, Marley and Me is my absolute favorite book ever. I was able to get my hands on an advance reading copy (available to booksellers) this fall and could not put it down. I was constantly saying to Noa, "Babe, you gotta hear this..." or "Oh my gosh, listen to this part, Noa..." The story focuses around a lovable lab named Marley who is anything but the perfect dog. Although Marley is central to the story, the book touches on so much more than just the dog though. I was able to relate to the author's feelings and stories of early married life, the pain of miscarriage, tackling obedience school, children (okay, so I'm not there yet, but I'm sure that when that time comes, I'll be able to relate), living in Florida, etc. I recommend this book to as many customers as I can - not because I want sales (shhhh, don't tell the managers...) - but, because I feel the need for everyone to read this book. It is so heartwarming, but real. And seriously, you just can't put it down, once you start reading.

So, that was a big ray of light into my day that wasn't starting out so well. Then, I get phone call #2: Noa. Noa is on call today, which means that he works all day and all night and will come home tomorrow and sleep during the day. I'm leaving for Sandy Paws tomorrow, so I really wasn't going to see him before leaving for the weekend and since I've been sick, I haven't really been the best company to keep. Well, it looks like Noa has a little break in his schedule today and we're going to have lunch together! Yeah! It won't be long and I'm still not feeling great, but at least I'll get to see him one more time before I leave this weekend.

Plus, it's a beautiful day. The weather folks said it could get as high as 80 degrees today.

I guess it's not such a bad day after all.

01 March 2006

Bummer


I feel terrible.


It started yesterday. I noticed that I was sneezing a lot at work, but I just chalked it up to being all the dusty shelves in the store. Then, around 2ish, it hit me like a ton of bricks: the nausea, coughing, and all over aching. That' when I knew I was sick.

I still went to work this morning, but I feel like I've been run over by a semi. I didn't want to call in sick so that we wouldn't get behind on shelving, but I kept having coughing fits and aching all over so that the shelving fell behind anyway. I bought some medicine to dope me up, but it hasn't really kicked in. All I want to do is sleep. And cry - I'm so emotional when I'm sick. I'm nervous that this will carry over into the weekend - which I am praying will not happen, since it's Sandy Paws weekend. We already had one person in our group back out, so I'm bummed about that too.


I guess it's just going to be one of those bummer-of-a-day days.


I'm going to take some more cold syrup and camp out on the futon in my pjs.

28 February 2006

Dog Days and Cosmic Nights

This past weekend, Noa, Mike, Jess, and I all went out bowling at the beach. It was our lucky night: Cosmic Bowling Night. Although I would never consider myself a bowler, I have to say that I actually improved on my game, although that was until I had some beer. Then I was pushing to get 5o. And no, I was not drunk - just slightly impared in my already poor bowling skills. Nevertheless, it was a fun night and Jess took some cool photos.





On Sunday, Jess and I met up with a bunch of friends at the dog park and spent almost 4 hours there! I made a little collage of photos to share some of my friends' beautiful canine companions - they are all so wonderful. I got to meet a girl named Jen, who works with Jess and owns they beautiful Vizsla (Riley) pictured. It was fun to talk with her and have my dogs around, since Vizslas are a lot like German Shorthair Pointers (my next dog - after Japan, of course). Riley did well around Sadie and Gunnar, which is promising for future prospects. After our long visit at the park, we headed to St. Johns Town Center to grab some coffee with the dogs. Unfortunately, the temperature decided to drop and since we had to sit outside with the dogs, we had to get creative to keep them warm - notice Gunnar is sitting inside my fleece. Although it was freezing* we still sat and chatted outside while trying to warm ourselves with hot coffee. Of course, we couldn't have any deep intellectual conversation about the state of the world, since every person that passed us by wanted to pet the dogs and ask questions about them. Jess is so good about this. She's now so used to being out in public with Sadie and Gunnar that she simply pretends that they are hers and answers the many questions we get. You never know, maybe I'll convert her to become an IG mom someday! It was a fun, relaxing day - friends, dogs, and coffee - it doesn't get much better than that!

*Really, it was cold - probably around 40 degrees. I know that it's still not as cold as New England, but I think that temperature warrants some need for a hot beverage when sitting outside.

25 February 2006

Lucky Pie

After getting out of my six-hour class this afternoon, I was happy to get home and find a pleasant surprise in my mailbox. I had ordered the dogs some cute tees from Ruff Ruff and Meow: one to replace the shirt that was inside Sadie's crate when it got stolen (long story - I'd rather not go into it) and one for Gunnar, to make it fair, After all. Sadie's says "cutie pie" and Gunnar's reads "rub my belly for good luck." I know I'm biased, but I think they look just darling. Plus, notice how well the collars match. Bonus, baby!



Now the pups are ready for Sandy Paws next weekend. I'm really looking forward to the event. It'll be nice to get out of Jax, even if it is only for a weekend. It's been a hard, draining week - mostly because of school work. I think this is my most intense semester of grad school so far. So, a weekend away to Jekyl Island with some of my IG buddies and our fur kids is a much needed (and appreciated) escape.

22 February 2006

Why Elephants Don't Visit

Here are 5 reasons elephants don't visit our apartment anymore.